Tuesday, June 17, 2008

First off, if you are as bummed as I am about the Tastespotting blog, have no fear, Food Gawker is here. I almost cried when I saw Tastespotting had shut down, I was literally about to send Tim the link because I had fallen in love with the website. A little Googling found me a suitable replacement for my mid-day food window shopping. I swear, I get so hungry just LOOKING, but it is so satisfying. So, go and be satisfied as well.

I can't believe how much it has cooled off today. I think it barely got into the 70's at all. It was a nice break from the oppressive heat. I managed to get the lawn mowed and raked, all in the same day, which is rare. I usually mow and then am too tired to rake it all up, but it was so cool out that mowing wasn't the usual exhaustion that it is. Anyway.

I took Haley to Walmart to spend her gift cards that she got and she was beside herself with happiness at picking out just what she wanted. She has also thanked me over and over for buying her an Ipod Shuffle for her birthday. She loves it. I am glad it was such a big hit. I hope she takes good care of it! I am sure that she will. She is such a big help with her brother, I am so glad that I can rely on her to keep an eye on him while he is playing and in a good mood so that I can manage to get things done. I am so paranoid about something happening that I am super careful about what sort of situations I leave her in charge of, only when he is in a safe area and contained either in his play yard or high chair, but she is very good about keeping him happy and entertained. She is such a big help.

We got Haley all signed up for the summer reading program and she is already halfway to finishing all the books, she is such a fast reader! She really loves it. She is so excited because this year she is old enough to participate in a lot of workshops and activities they have planned at the library. She already signed up for an art workshop about bugs, and there is a cooking class in July that she is excited about, and there is also another workshop next week on bees put on by the local university.

It was way too cold to swim today, that sucks! It also was very grey and cloudy at times as well. I don't think it will be warm enough to swim tomorrow either, but we will see. We are getting our money's worth out of this pool pass!

Man, I feel so boring. All I do all day long is baby, work, house, kids, baby, work, sleep. I know it's just how it is when you have a little kid, and that's how it will be for the next few years, but I do kinda miss being creative, and feeling creative. I think that is what bothers me the most, I don't even FEEL creative anymore. I miss writing poetry and having meaningful things to say. I miss painting and having that urge inside me to make something. The photography definitely helps, it is something that I can manage to squeeze in sometimes, but it's not quite the same.

On the other hand, I love having a baby right now. He is so expressive and curious and so eager to try and try and try. He wants to explore everything. Tim followed him around the house while I cooked dinner this evening and Savino was just so excited to go from room to room and slap the floor with his hands and touch the walls and turn around and go in different directions. Babyhood is such a brief period in their lives, it goes by so quickly, I want to soak every bit of it up right now!

We were sitting in the library in a rocking chair (Savino and I, he was in the sling on my lap) while Haley colored, and the baby was just looking around and looking around at all the kids who were in the children's area and then without any prompting or anything, he gave a loud screech and laughed and leaned in and gave me a huge kiss right on the lips, all sloppy and wet and slobbery. It was so. sweet. He makes me melt when he just surprises me with a kiss or puts his head down on my shoulder or leans his body into mine and rubs his head against my chest. He is growing up so fast and I am trying so hard to cherish every second, I constantly have to remind myself to be in the moment, not to be always thinking about the future or what I "should" be doing. The more we live in the moment, the better the memories will be for the kids, and that is what is important. I am so much more focused on making sure that what we do is memorable, I want them to be able to look back on their childhood and remember the picnics and the fun and that we seized the moment all the time.

I really can't believe that Haley is 9 years old. I mean, I know, I know, kids grow up but still... how did the time go by so quickly? I've grown so much as a parent, from wondering how in the world I could do it, and not knowing enough, to realizing that you just have to decide what is important and let the rest go. I think it helped that I was so involved in Laila and Chyron and Jaden's lives too, and how fast they grew up from babies to little people. I just don't want to miss even a single moment of these kids childhoods because I was worried about something else.

I think overall, I've mellowed out a little since I had Savino, just in general. I am still way too paranoid and overprotective of Savino, and I still imagine all the bad things that could happen which makes me a little more anxious than I would like to be, but I think in general, going from two to one has meant for me that I have let go of some of the things I had a really tight grip on. Maybe I am just too tired to care!

In any case, I am feeling really good about where things are, so I better knock on some wood. I just want to maintain where we are at right now, that is all I care about. We have it really good right now, I want to keep it good.


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