Wednesday, March 19, 2008

With A Rebel Yell

Those damn Comcast commercials, they have that stupid song stuck in my head. Get. OUT!

I was very snappish tonight, and I blame the children and Tim both. Well, really it was probably nobody's fault, but I still blame them. I am such a wonderful wife/mother, no? Dealing with Haley's homework is, like, the BANE of my existence. I hate it. And it is only going to get worse as she gets older and the homework gets more complicated. *sighs* She is working on multiplication right now and we are going to have to start memorizing her multiplication tables to make her life easier. Thaaat's gonna be fun.

Savino was just very clingy and high needs, I don't know if he was just not feeling good or the teeth were bothering him or what, but he nursed a LOT today, and just didn't want to chill on his own at all. I just held him as much as I could, but about 6:30pm I was ready to run screaming off down the road. I just said to Tim, "Please hold your son. I can't anymore." and thankfully he took him until bedtime at 8pm. I just need like an hour to decompress when Tim gets home, which I am sure sucks for him because he comes home from work and I'm all, "TAKE THESE CHILDREN AWAY FROM ME NOW!" but that's life. He gets to leave the house every day and go out to lunch with his friends and his penance is to come home to a shrill wife and demanding children. Lucky him! Don't feel too bad for him, he's spoiled too.

My body, post-Savino, is killing me. My face particularly, it's like I'm going through some sort of crazy puberty or something, I've been getting these breakouts that are just wrong. Wrong wrong wrong. I am thisclose to ordering some ProActiv because I don't know what else to do! The usual routine is not cutting it. And I am not wearing makeup a lot (obviously, since I am just at home with my son all day!), or leaving my hair down near my face or anything, it's crazy. Thank you breastfeeding. Or whatever it is. Anyway, I am not pleased. I'm too old for this nonsense.

I kept stroking my boy's head and touching his face while he was nursing today. I am definitely in that "you're growing up too fast" place right now. He is getting so big and so independant in many ways, but when he is dozing off while nursing, he has that little baby peacefulness in his face and I am just so aware of holding onto every last moment of this. Maybe I go on and on about how "this is the last..." with Savino, but it really is, and you don't know how precious every second of it is until you're through it and out the other side and you have this 8 yr. old who doesn't even need you half the time anymore. It goes by too too quickly. I realized when I was smoothing and running my fingers through Savino's hair that I can't palm his head anymore, it is too big! It was just the other day, it seems, that I could fit his whole little head in my hand, just cup my palm around him. When he nurses, his body half hangs off my lap because he is too long, he has to curl up his legs to fit. I am still ridiculously emotional about it all. I didn't know what I was going to do with a little boy and now I can't even imagine having anyone else in my life instead of him. He is such a loving, happy, smiley, sweet little boy. He is spoiled and demanding and loves to be thrown up in the air and swung around in circles and I'm such a sucker for him.

Ok, enough sappiness. I can't help it. It just flows out of me.

I have been having to FORCE myself onto the treadmill lately. It is my nemesis. I am so tired, it is hard to convince myself that I need to workout, but if I start to miss days then it becomes just that much harder to get onto it again and back in the rhythm. If only it would WARM UP. I want to walk on the bike trail and be able to put the boy in a stroller and just go. If only it would just get and stay in the upper 50's even, I think I could bundle up the boy enough that he would be fine, but when it's 34 degrees out, it's just not gonna happen. It is 32 degrees right now. Urg. If it seriously does snow, I think I might cry.

I have to think of something to make for dinner tomorrow. I literally haven't made dinner in like a week. Tim has been doing all the cooking, and I don't have a problem with that, I think he would rather cook than watch the baby while I cook anyway. Of course, he hasn't been doing the dishes and he made dinner tonight and just left the chaos and mayhem all over the kitchen, but whatever. It's a small price to pay I suppose.

I am into the new season of Top Chef. There was a Top Chef marathon on Bravo today, so that was playing as background entertainment when I was stuck nursing Savino fifteen million times. I curse the fact that there is no Bravo OnDemand. As much as we pay for our cable service, I think every single show should be available in the OnDemand programming. I've been looking at buying a DVR but they are CRAZY expensive if you don't buy them from your cable provider, and we pay way too much in our cable bill as it is, I can't justify getting a DVR on top of it unless we cut our package back or drop our HBO and Showtime. We rarely watch the HBO or Showtime anymore, but we do every now and then, and we will watch movies from time to time and so it is nice to just have it when the mood strikes. So, no DVR for now I guess. But yeah, Top Chef. It rocks, even though I don't think that I would really eat half the things that they make. Some of that stuff is a little iffy.

Well, I should have been in bed an hour ago. I will regret not having gone when I was tired. Oh well.


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