So today was a hard day for Tim. He sent me a text that he had gotten a call from a father who wanted to find out how he could get his daughter admitted to one of the inpatient programs at the hospital. This was.. Monday. Today he called the father back to find out if he had signed all the forms to release her medical records, and get approval from the insurance co. etc. and the father said it was no longer necessary. Tim asked why and the father said because the daughter had committed suicide yesterday. Tim was all torn up about it. He said he kept trying to think back whether he had asked the father if the girl needed immediate treatment or to go to the ER. It's so hard, what do you say to console someone in that situation? I just told Tim, you have to figure out how to let it go because otherwise it will eat you up. There's no way he could have known that the situation was that critical and the father said he didn't know it was that bad either. It's just very very sad. Tim takes it so personally when he can't help someone and to have something like this happen and him feel so responsible, that he wasn't able to help this girl... well, it was not a good day for him.

I have so much admiration and respect for Tim. It is so so hard to work in an adolescent psychiatric hospital. It really is. You see so many kids who have been hurt by life or more commonly, their own parents and families, who have seen violence up close and personal, or done violence to someone else. He sees kids that are so messed up... the only thing you can do is come home and hug the babies and do everything you can to make sure they never have anything bad happen to them while you still can.

So yeah, that is kind of a bummer. I just tried to have dinner ready when he got home and make it an easy evening on him.

Savino is Super Crank lately. I don't know what his deal is. I really think he is teething again! It seems impossible, this poor kid needs a break from teething! I probed inside his mouth and couldn't feel anything but noticed that there is a white ridge to the right of his bottom teeth, so maybe he is working on tooth #5. I just know the crankiness has to stop. It's ridic. I literally cannot leave the room and leave him behind. Every single time he wails like I am abandoning him. It makes it very hard to do ANYTHING. I have taken to carting him around with me and just setting him on the floor with a toy wherever I take him. It is only a temporary solution because soon enough he will be crawling, but for now it seems to work. There is the novelty of being on the floor too since I don't really set him down on the floor anywhere but the living room. I've had to sweep like twice a day to be able to do this, but if it's what it takes... Mealtimes are crazy too, he's taken to wanting a bite of this, a bite of that, a Gerber puff, a sip of milk, rinse repeat. Except if you don't figure out what he wants in time, he screams bloody murder with real tears squeezing out and falling down his cheeks. I swear I think he was pointing at his cereal bowl this morning, so I tried offering him that. I think he is too young to point, but maybe I am wrong! If he can just start communicating more, I think that will ease the frustration. He STILL isn't signing. I am trying to be consistent with offering the signs for everything but I'll admit, sometimes I just plain forget. I am trying to pay more attention to his hands too, and see if maybe I am just missing him attempting to sign something to me. We do "eat", "milk"(bottle and nursing), "all done", "kittie", and "more". He is reaching that age of being able to sign back, so hopefully soon.

Ok, well, I should be in bed. I have not been getting to bed at a good time and Savino has been up and done unpredictably again. I just wish the kid would SLEEP, give me another full nights sleep. I need it. I leave you with a park picture.

Just Another Day (And Survey)

I was tagged...

Five Years Ago: Haley was 3 (almost 4) years old, and I think Laila was just a little baby. (I'd have to look back in my diary to be sure) She was (and still is) such a sweet little girl, and I was finally figuring everything out with being a mom. I was working for an internet startup as Director of Business Development which was a learning experience in how to deal with people. I managed to get out of that job just in time because the company went under less than a year later.

Three Years Ago: We were contemplating moving and buying a bigger house, I was 25 years old (*sighs*), later in the year we bought our big house and moved out of the little house, which we rented to Tim's brother. Haley had started school and I had blissful days of working from home and enjoying my days off. Tim was working a split schedule and we had days during the week together with no kids. BLISS!

1 Year Ago: I was pregnant with Savino and thrilled beyond all reason by it. I never thought Tim would agree to us having another kid, so it was a time of much happiness. I was stressed by my diabetes and worried about how it would affect the baby, but still thrilled. Chantal had Jaden and he was about 6 months old and just a fun little baby to hang out with, Chantal was in school studying to be a paralegal and Laila was in preschool and they were still living with us.

Yesterday: Errands, babybabybaby, Tim made homemade ham and cheese "hot pockets" and we had lots of leftovers from the party that we had on Saturday with Eleni and her parents and Jay and Chyron.

Today: Work, laundry, laundry, laundry, baby, poor Savino is still teething and kinda miserable as the day progresses. I am trying not to give him medicine unless he truly needs it, but he gets so desperate and cranky that I am afraid he is in pain and I really don't want him suffering. God bless Hyland's teething tablets, those things rock.

Tomorrow: If I am lucky, it will be more of the same minus some laundry, plus some dishwashing, and hopefully minus a lot of crankiness on the baby's part. I hope for him a good day filled with smiles and at least one two hour nap (excuse me while I laugh hysterically).

End survey!

Last night was a little better, but I am still kinda beat. The time change is killing me. Oh well. I will cope.

Tim is stressing because tomorrow is a big day at the hospital, they are having a big survey done to renew the hospitals license so everything and everyone will be under really close scrutiny. He's worried that if they find anything wrong in the Admissions department (that he is the Director/Head of) that it will be his job on the line. I am just rolling my eyes at that because 1) Nothing will be wrong, Tim is anal about dotting every "i" and 2) They wouldn't fire him if he walked in and told everyone to go fuck themselves because he is the only one who knows how to do the job. I think he just gets himself worked up over things, and gets worried and it's unnecessary stress. Anyway, he will be happy when tomorrow is over.

I spent part of the day with my head buried in the washer or dryer, doing laundry. Savino managed to not lose his mind and put up with me running back and forth from the laundry room to the bedroom to his bedroom and back again. He wasn't pleased about it when it got to be the evening and we were STILL doing laundry, but that's life. He's got a lot of clothes. I weeded through his dresser again *sighs*. It is so bittersweet taking clothes that are too small out and putting them aside for Eleni. Some of them I am saving just to put in his keepsake chest, but most I am passing on. I bought him some new clothes last week and I washed and put those away, and dug out a whole bunch of clothes that were in the "too big" drawer that will fit now. Though I pulled probably half a garbage bag full of clothes out of his drawers, his pants drawer is still overflowing and I could barely get all his "outfits" into the drawer. I think in a few months I will probably have to buy some more short sleeved onesies unless Chantal has some to pass on, but other than that, the boy is even set for the summer. He might need sandals, but that's it.

I also managed to get all the fabric that I bought yesterday cut into bib-shapes and pinned to the terrycloth backing, so they are ready to be sewn. Scintillating, I know. I ended up with 9 bibs out of the material that I had, and I found some remnants from the slings I made that will yeild probably ten more or so, and I know I have even more upstairs in the bedroom. I also had an AHA moment, cutting the terry cloth into the bib pattern, I realized I didn't have to pay $6 for a yard of terry cloth, duh, I could have just gone and bought a few cheap bath towels and cut them up. I know just where to find some thing white towels for $1 each, which will be perfect. Now I feel stupid for paying $6 for a yard at JoAnn fabrics. Oh well. Now I know.

I need to fix up my Ravelry account to show off all the baby-related crafts I have been churning out. I have maybe 15 pairs of babylegs that I've done for Savino and now the bibs and I also made up a few burp-clothes out of the leftover fabric that wasn't big enough for the bibs. Tim suggested I make some to sell, but honestly, I don't really think they would sell. People have much cuter stuff out there. Especially on Etsy. I was on there this evening looking at other people's bibs and was amazed at all the cute stuff! Unfortunately, I have a hard time justifying paying $8 for one bib. I didn't pay $8 for all the stuff I bought that made 9 bibs, so that is just a little too much for me, but they are cute! If I was spending someone else's money... hehe.

I feel so boring lately. Literally all I have to talk about is my kids, my crafts, or Chantal's drama. *sighs* I used to write poetry. I used to have something to say. These days, I have nothing. This is just all my daily drivel. I mean, I'm not upset by that, really, because this is my life. My mind is so numbed by lack of sleep, or preoccupied with babybabybaby, or struggling with my camera that I don't have the energy to sit down and write something meaningful. THIS is meaningful to me. What little energy I do have is being poured into cooking dinner, doing babycrafts, folding laundry, wrangling Haley's schoolwork. Oh well. I don't even really have the energy to feel regret.

Tim fixed my tripod! I thought that I had broken it, but apparently it just came apart, I didn't actually break it. Of course, then he had to show me how to use it. At least now I know! I think that I am going to try taking the next pictures of Savino with the tripod and see if perhaps that cuts down on the amount of blurry/out of focus pictures I end up with. I know part of it is him moving around, he doesn't exactly stay still, but part of it is also me moving around. I don't really care, really, because I just shoot in continuous mode and take 5 billion pictures so the law of averages means I have at least one or two shots in focus, but it would be nice to have more than 50 out of 200 hundred shots. I also haven't been doing much post-processing on the pictures I've taken recently. Part of it is me afraid of screwing the pictures up, I don't think my monitor is calibrated correctly, and some of the pictures that I ordered prints of lately came out not quite right. The other part of it is that I have like 250 pictures to edit and most of the editing that I want to do is time consuming like cloning out things and I am being miserly with my time at the computer lately. Wah wah wah, I know. If that's what I have to complain about, I've got it pretty damn good. I think that I will just order some prints of what I have unedited and see what they look like.

Ok, I think I am going to take my butt to bed. I'm tired.